AMA: Hoy Junior! 'Wag kang babakla-bakla ha!
JUNIOR: 'Di po Itay. Papunta pa nga akong basketball court ngayon e!
AMA: Iyan! Astig!!
JUNIOR: 'Nay, nakita mo ba yung POMPOMS ko?!
MAMA: Alin, iyong pink?
(Sent by Mia)
Sa Garden of Eden...
ADAN: Lord, hindi ko na po kinakaya ang tukso sa akin parati ni Eba..
LORD: Maging matatag ka lamang anak. Bakit paano ka ba niya tinutukso?
ADAN: "Rustom, Rustom"..
(Sent by Wewe)
INA: Walanghiya kang bata ka! Bakit ka pumunta sa gay bar!? Anong nakita mo doon na hindi mo dapat makita?! Ano?!
ANAK: Si daddy po..
(Sent by Ralph)
SENYORA: Inday! Gamitin mo nga itong chalk para mamatay yung mga ipis sa kusina.
INDAY: Yes, sinyora.
Kinabukasan, nakita ng senyora na nakasulat sa dingding:
"MGA EPES, MAMATAY KAYU LAHAT. SIYET!"
(Sent by Jayvee)
Limang pinakanakakainis na bagay sa mundo:
1. Makatapak ng tae.
2. Matalsikan sa mukha ng itim na putik sa kalsada.
3. Labasan ng softdrinks sa ilong dahil sa kakatawa.
4. Madikitan ng taong may matinding putok.
5. Makita kang malungkot.
(Sent by Lauren)
Sulat ni Emi Castro sa asawang nasa abroad:
Hon,
Natanggap na namen ang mga pinadala mong package. Si Nene baon niya ang toblerone sa eskwela. Si Junior naman suot na ang bagong Nike. Next time hon, wag na u papadala ng Nivea milk. Mapait daw, me tuloy ang umobos.
Its Me, Emi.
The following are excerpts from peyups.com forum:
Boob-tube-Booboos Thread
posted by mark88:
sabi ni yasmien kurdi nung speech niya sa box-office entertainment awards, "Thank you to all those who BUYED my album." Naman.
Beauty Pageant Booboos:
posted by kikokix:
Host : Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.
Host : What's your ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....
Host : Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl : Uhmm... more. (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less, less....
Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant : I want to be a successful Medicine.
Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
(From gay beauty contest)
Host : What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant : (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
(From gay contest)
Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading......ano nga po ulit yung question?
Host : Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!
Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause) I don't have a motto eh. (So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!
Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)
Host : What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala.
Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant : Uhmm... a bumble bee!
Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
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